When you get measured at the doctor’s office, does the medical professional use a random stick to reveal your height? Hopefully not. If they did, you might be 3½ sticks tall in one doctor’s office and 12 sticks tall in another. That sounds ridiculous, right? Sasa, when it comes to measuring self-worth, many people use something just as unreliable as a random stick.
You may not even consciously think about what type of stick you use to measure your self-worth. But it’s likely that, deep down, you know. After all, when you feel like you’re measuring up, you feel good about yourself. But when you feel as though you’ve fallen short, your self-esteem likely plummets. So while you may be aware of those fluctuations in how you feel, you might never stop to think about what type of measuring stick influences you so much.
While there are many ways you might measure your worthiness in life, it’s important to consider whether some of them are unhealthy
Self-respect is the most crucial aspect of one’s life. If you do not understand how to appreciate yourself and your worth, how do you expect others to? Life is too short to maintain toxic relationships. Remember, “MAISHA ni LEO”, so in order for yours to flourish, you need to work on yourself first TODAY.
How to Build Self-Worth
The first step in building self-worth is to > and evaluating your every move; in other words, you need to challenge your critical inner voice. The critical inner voice is like a nasty coach in our heads that constantly nags us with destructive thoughts towards ourselves or others. This internalized dialogue of critical thoughts or “inner voices” undermines our sense of self-worth and even leads to self-destructive or maladaptive behaviors, which make us feel even worse about ourselves. stop comparing yourself to others
We all have a “critical inner voice,” which acts like a cruel coach inside our heads that tells us we are worthless or undeserving of happiness. This coach is shaped from painful childhood experiences and critical attitudes we were exposed to early in life as well as feelings our parents had about themselves. While these attitudes can be hurtful, over time, they have become engrained in us. As adults, we may fail to see them as an enemy, instead accepting their destructive point of view as our own.
However, we can challenge the inner critic and begin to see ourselves for who we really are, rather than taking on its negative point of view about ourselves. We can differentiate from the ways we were seen in our family of origin and begin to understand and appreciate our own feelings, thoughts, desires and values.
A true sense of self-worth can also be fostered by > , which is the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness and compassion as you would treat a friend. This involves taking on what some smart people label as the practicing self-compassion “ attitude, which means being COAL” C urious, O pen, A ccepting and L oving toward yourself and your experiences rather than being self critical.
There are three steps to practicing self-compassion:
1) Acknowledge and notice your suffering.
2) Be kind and caring in response to suffering.
3) Remember that imperfection is part of the human experience and something we all share.
Adding meaning to your life, by > taking part in activities that you feel are important, is another great way to build self-worth. Helping others, for example, offers a huge boost to your sense of self-worth. Generosity is good for you, both physically and mentally, and studies now show that volunteering has a very positive affect on how people feel about themselves. Other studies have found that religion correlates with a higher sense of self-worth in adolescents.
People find meaning in many different ways; think about the activities and interests that feel meaningful to you personally and pursue those activities to build a more positive feeling of self-worth. In fact, I may suggest that you find “a goal that is bigger than the self.” As in “Investing energy in transcendent goals and activities that extend beyond one’s self interest, for example, contributing to a humanitarian cause or trying, in some way, to improve the lot of future generations, helps build self-esteem.”
Acting on principles, in ways that you respect, is another important quality to foster as you develop a higher level of self-worth. > ! When our actions do not match our words, we are more vulnerable to attacks from our critical inner voice and less likely to respect ourselves. “Make a concerted effort to maintain personal integrity in your life by insisting that your actions correspond to your words,”
Anyways, try by challenging your critical inner voice and stopping comparing yourself to others, you can begin to get a feeling for your own self-worth. By pursuing activities that are meaningful to you and acting in line with your own personal beliefs, you can develop your sense of yourself as a worthwhile person in the world even further.
Kumbuka, while there are many ways you might measure your worthiness in life, it’s important to consider whether some of them are unhealthy. Foe example here’s some common — yet unhealthy — ways people measure their self-worth:
Some people measure their self-worth by the numbers on a scale. Others determine their value by how much attention they can attract with their appearance. The > Your Appearance
media sends a message that “you’re only as good as you look,” (Endabikayo ky’ekitibwakyo) and many marketing strategies target people’s insecurities over everything from weight gain to aging.
That’s not to say good looks don’t serve as an advantage in life; they certainly can. But a beautiful body or a handsome face won’t last forever, and hair loss, wrinkles, and a middle-age spread can feel catastrophic for someone whose self-worth depends on their physical appearance.
You likely know at least one person whose self-worth is measured by their income or material possessions. But > Your Net Worth
people who measure their self-worth by their net worth may never feel “valuable enough.” And it’s not just wealthy people who define themselves by the size of their bank accounts — many people live beyond their means in an attempt to feel “good enough.” But going deep into debt to create a façade of wealth backfires in the end because while goods and services have monetary value, they don’t reflect your value as a human being.
There are several ways people depend on others to give them value. While one person may only feel good about herself when she’s in a relationship, someone else may feel as though name-dropping well-known people will gain the admiration from others he needs to feel good. > Who You Know
Some people only feel worthy when they can surround themselves with important people. A lengthy list of personal contacts and a busy social calendar help them feel valuable and important. But
depending on other people to make you feel good is like chasing a moving target. You can’t control what other people think of you, and you certainly can’t please everyone all the time. You’ll never be able to receive enough praise and positive reinforcement to genuinely feel good about yourself.
A career helps many people feel worthwhile. In fact, many people introduce themselves by saying what they do: “I’m a computer programmer,” or “I’m a lawyer.” Their job isn’t what they >What You Do
do — it’s who they are. Their career reinforces to them that they’re “somebody.” But basing your self-worth on your job title is a big risk. An economic downturn, unexpected shift in the job market, or a major health problem can put an end to your career and lead to a major identity crisis. Even a planned retirement may destroy your self-worth if your identity is tied to your job title. If you’ve always measured your self-worth by what you do, you won’t feel good about yourself when your career ends.
Sometimes people want to be known solely for their achievement. That > What You Achieve
person who brags about their latest business success may only feel good when she talks about her accomplishments. Or an individual who just can’t stop beating himself for a mistake he made might struggle to move forward, because he didn’t achieve what he needed to feel good.
While it’s normal to feel proud of your accomplishments, basing your entire self-worth on your achievement is like building a house on an unsteady foundation. You’ll need to experience constant success to feel good about yourself — and that means you’ll likely avoid doing things where you could fail.
How to Feel Good About Who You Are
The way you choose to measure your worth affects the kind of life you’ll live. Use a measuring stick based on factors you can control — not the external events in your life.
When you know who you are — and you’re pleased with the person you’ve become — you’ll experience a sense of peace through life’s inevitable ups and downs. You’ll believe in yourself regardless of whether you’ve been fired, gone through a divorce, or failed to get a promotion.
Instead of chasing things that temporarily boost your self-esteem, measure your self-worth by who you are at your
core. Behave according to your values and create a life of meaning and purpose